fighter's journal

It was our friend Topher's birthday last December 25. So last night, we went to Makati to celebrate his birthday.

It was nice seeing old friends come together. It had been a long time since the last time we were together. Almost everyone was there: Topher, Alex, Richard, Cholo, Jeff, Nico, Kravz, Ferdie, Bro, Yam, GL, Burt, Joeffer, and many others.

It was a good night. Why? Because I was able to settle one of the most important issues in my 2005 -- my Little Prince.

He was there. He talked to me. Honestly, I prepared myself for this. So he did not catch me off guard. He called me in one corner.

So there we were on top of the building watching fireworks being scattered in the skies -- talking. But it was more a like catching-up-with-each-other talk rather than an 'issue' talk.

LP: Alam mo yun tinext ko sa iyo nun, about dun sa usap?
C: Oo naman. Bakit?
LP: Uhhmmm...
C: (cutting him off) Ano ka ba? Wala na yun noh!
LP: Talaga?
C: Oo noh. Past is past. O kamusta ka na?

And then the conversation continued. We talked about our work, his graduation next year (he is in Magna Cum Laude Standing), fireworks, and other things. Until now, his brain still amazes me. If there will be a friend of mine who deserves to have the moniker of Mr. Know It All, he will definitely have the title. Hands down.

I think I handled the situation very well. As sister slut puts it awhile ago, let bygones be bygones. When she told me that, I looked at her and told her I said the same thing to my Little Prince last night. Though in a more common term, 'past is past'. Let bygones be bygones.

Suffice to say, everything is fine between us. And I have to admit, I miss having him as my friend.

And if ever you are reading this blog, thank you for everything. And I am so glad that everything is okay. And I am so proud of you Magna Cum Laude standing. Be bigger!

Though it's been said
Many, many times
Many different ways
Merry Christmas to you...

It's Christmas day and I have colds. Plus, I am in the office. This is how I am spending my Christmas day.

Last night was fun. The newest addition to our family, Iya (daughter of my cousin Baju), was the star of the night. At 2 AM, we were done.

I am not in the mood for blogging. I am sick.

So Papa Jesus, happy birthday po. And to everyone reading, Merry Christmas.

Fab Friends - Lester (Howeko), Raymund (Rainbow), moi and Alvin (Curting)

There was a News and Public Affairs Christmas Party last night here at GMA. But I was on duty so I have no time to party with my co-workers. I just ate dinner and went back to my cubicle as soon as I was done.

After my shift, Raymond texted me informing me that he will be at Malate. He also asked me if I will be going there. I said yes. So at 12:30 MN, I was outside the gates of GMA waiting for a taxi with my friend, Lorie. I arrived at Malate at around 1 AM. I went straight to Sonata where Raymond was waiting for me. I also saw Letran friends with Mam Me-an at Synders.

Alvin texted me asking me where I was and saying he has something to tell me. So I told him I was at Sonata with Raymond.

The thing he was dying to tell me was that four of our friends were held in a precint. Why? They passed by a checkpoint and the police found some torvas in the pouch of one of our friends. The police were asking for 60, 000 in exchange of their release. At the end, they bargained and they paid 30, 000 for their "freedom."

At around 3 AM, I was set to go home. But another thing happened. I don't think I am in the position to meddle with such things. So I will not tell the story of what happened to two of our friends who are "starting to like" each other.

Instead, I will write on what Rainbow and I discussed over iced tea and mango juice at Cafe Adriatico.

One question that surfaced: Bakit may mga ganoon tao? Teary eyed, we talked of what happened -- apparently, Rainbow can relate to this. And this morning, I have realized that I have been through the same thing two years ago. It hurts to see that the person you love the most does not give a flying fuck of what you feel. You best efforts go down the drain.

So, bakit may mga taong ganoon? People who think that they can wrap people around their finger because they are rich or they are too good looking. People who think that they can toy with people's feelings.

But everytime I come across people like that, Alicia Keys always reminds me of something: What goes around, comes around.

Raymond, moi, and Alvin

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I am pleased to announce that I have a new home -- a new blog. Thanks to Pao J. for he helped me with the name of my blog.

I am still trying to personalize the template but I am having a hard time doing it.

So, all of my blog friends who are linked with me, please link this site too: An Angel Lost in Hell.

Enjoy!

I cannot help but laugh whenever I am watching this video. It shows Eugene Dominga (not sure of her name) singing I Don't Wanna "Feel" a Thing. But in the thing part, Regine Velasquez' voice takes over. Ang taas!

Hope this will also get you laughing!

Whenever Christmas time comes, I go back to the phase of my life when I wish I was a kid again. Who would enjoy Christmas more than a child would?

I long to go back to the times where in I would sit beside the Christmas tree and wait for the gifts to be handed to me. I used to get everything I want. Well, not exectly everything, but way back then, I have the power to tell all my relatives what I want for Christmas. Well, all kids have that power.

When I was a kid, I remember believing that Santa Clause really exists. Every year, I recieved gifts from Santa. And surprisingly, it is just what i want. Always. But now, all grown up, I know that my mom -- whom I told of what I like Santa to give me -- buys the gifts that were supposed to be frmo Santa.

I long to go back when we will all go to church and go back home to eat our noche buena. I love hearing the laughters echoing all throughout the house. I know we still do this. But I don't think it feels the same.

Now Christmas is just around the corner. Yet, I still don't feel the spirit. I am planning to give myself an IPOD Nano but I cannot see that happening. My mom drained out my bank account. Though she said she is going to pay me this week, that is yet to be seen.

I was supposed to have work last Sunday, December 18 but I was forced to swap sked with my co-worker so I could attend my cousin's despidida at my Tita's House. And guess what sked that I was able to get? December 24, 4 PM - 12 MN. So I think I am working on Christmas Eve.

Now tell me if this is a Christmas to look forward to.

Well, I can always think of happy thoughts.  

Christmas is near. So being the person that I am, I am kinda sober these past few days.

Awhile ago, I was online on Fabuloush and a friend told me (angelboy) that I should think of happy thoughts.

How can I think happy thoughts when I am not happy? I guess my depression and soberness drain the energy out of me that I cannot seem to think of any happy thoughts.

I'm sure there are happy moments that happened to me this year but I think it was outweighed by the unhappy moments.

First, there are my family issues. I don't want to write about that. Just thinking of it drains my emotions out of me. What more if I tried putting words into it?

Second, I have just realized that this year of mine is loveless. I have never fallen in love this year. Well, the only guy I have loved this year is my little prince. And that was at the first quarter of this year. But at that moment, I have realized that we will never happen. So around that time, I was keep on walking right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from. Thank God I learned how not to walk back.

Third, I am not totally happy with my work. It seems that I want to do more. But until now, I still don't know what I want to do.

Now, tell me if I have happy thoughts to think about?

But having those words said to me by a friend, it reminded me that no matter how bad my year is, I must look at the bright side of it. UNtil now, I have yet to find 2005's bright side.

I just have to keep in mind that suffering is everywhere. We have to accept that it is. But so are miracles. We just have to accept that there are.

And to angelboy, thanks for giving me the piece of advice. Don't worry, everytime I'm down, I will think of happy thoughts.

I promised my friends I will entitle my next blog post as such. Raymond (rainbow) fooled us last night at Sonata. Someone entered the door and he called on the guy, "Uy, Dom!" We all turned to the door anticipating that ourn friend, Dom, arrived. Turned out, it was just a foreigner who entered the bar. What made the scene more funny, the foreigner nodded his head as if he knew Raymond!

That's right. I went out on a Thursday night to meet some of Fab friends. And thank God I decided to go because I really had fun. I know, ah! Among those who are present were: Raymond, Young, Ramde, Alvin, Lester, JR and Drake. Domwheesung followed at around 6 AM. Apparently, his car got hit by a jeepney. As Alvin puts it awhile ago, jeepney drivers think they are the "hari ng daan"

Anyhow, the night was filled with laughters, stories and purely fun, fun, FUN!

I love all of my friends. They make my life seem so easy and light. Hanging out with them makes me forget my issues. Their -- not just my Fab friends, I am now talking of my friends in general -- presence is my comfort zone.  And I can never stop thanking God for giving me many great set of friends.

Again, thank God for giving me great friends who are always there for me whenever I need someone to remind me how beautiful life can be.

 

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patience, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respects the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in you hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

Are you the 'ever after' I am waiting for all of my life?

I am occupying Station 41 in Netopia SM Centerpoint and I cannot help but get irritated by the teenagers occupying #40.

They -- meaning there is more than one occupying one station -- are so loud! How loud are they? I am sure of this answer: whenever they found a cute chatter, the whole Netopia SM Centerpoint Branch will know. Plus, they keep on insulting the guyS that they are chatting with. As if they are perfectly made.

And they keep on glancing on my monitor. So I hope they glance on my monitor while I am writing this one. Fuck off my monitor and get a life!

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And to my newlyfound friends who left a note on my tagboard -- namely Raymond (aka Rainbow), Young (aka Simplelife) and Edmar (aka Ramdelicious) -- thanks for visiting! I love you all mare! Mwah!