fighter's journal

occihc08

If there is one thing I am actually good at, it would be wallowing. I deserve an award for wallowing.

I read once that emotional pains last for only two minutes, and everything after that is pure self-indulgence.

This statement proves that I am indeed a masochistic.

I am a Pisces and Pisceans are known for wallowing big time!Personally, I love to wallow until I am drowned with my emotions.

I know it is wrong because even if I am over the feeling, I want to wallow still.

So do not get me wrong when I say that I am still wallowing on my last failed attempt on love. I am over the guy, I am over the feelings, I have moved on. I just want to wallow. Period.

I miss being with someone. I miss having someone.

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NEWS UPDATE:

Impeachment Hearing will start tomorrow at Congress. The question now, will the opposition reach the needed signatures for the complaint to move to the Senate?

occihc08

Thursday night, still at work. You all know what I am doing. Watching Maala-ala Mo Kaya.

The story is about, ho-hum, love.

Fast storytelling: Guy fell in love with a girl. Girl has a twin, an Evil Twin in this story. Evil Twin lust over the guy. Good Twin did not notice that her evil sister is destroying their relationship. Good Twin and Guy got engaged. Evil Twin finds way to sleep with the guy. Evil Twin puts ativan in the juice of the guy. Guy slept with Evil Twin. Guy and Evil Twin got married. The Good Twin disheartened. Guy becomes the Evil Guy and hurt Evil Twin. Evil Twin got pregnant. Good Twin decided to leave the country. Good Twin told Guy to love Evil Twin more. Good Twin says that they should go on with what life has for them now. Guy finally accepted that Good twin was never meant for him. Guy and Evil Twin lived happily ever after.

WTF?!?!

Evil Twin did not get what she deserves?!!? I expected some hair-pulling, cursing, and some big-fighting. But to my disappointment, WALA.

Crazy Story.

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Impeachment hearing yesterday was adjourned. Reports say that it is made up of 52 pages, single space and tons of accusations against the president.

IMO, if the pro-impeachment congressmen wants to have a speedy process of the impeachment in the Lower House, they should have focus on one accusation that can realy impeach the president (eg, Election Fraud) and gather all the evidences that will prove this claim. The other accusations can delay the deliberating and the discussion in the Lower House.

I hope I still make sense. Lack of sleep is killing my brain cells.

OMG, I just realized that for the past few months, that almost 80% of my social conversation is made up of Current Events.

Everytime someone asks what my job is, this what happens:

SOMEONE: Where are you working?
ME: A TV Network (I do not want to name drop because SOMETIMES, if God granted me, the conversation will stop here. If not, here is the rest.)
SOMEONE: What station?
ME: GMA Network (Or if I am in the mood, I'll say, 'the number one network')
SOMEONE: Really? What department?
ME: News (At this point, I'll try to lose interest in our conversatio by doing other things, or by looking in another direction, or by starting up another topic. But if I am unlucky, here's next)
SOMEONE: So how's Gloria? (This question may vary from "How'sGloria?" to "How's the government?" and I am expecting this question in the net few days, "How's the impeachment going on?)
ME: (depends on my mood. If I am in a bitchy mood, I'll say, "Read the papers" or "Watch 24 Oras, you will know how she is doing." If I am in the mood for talking relevant things, "Still in the office, refusing to tender her resignation."

The conversation can go on, depending on the capacity of the person I am talking to.

Sometimes even friends text me to know what is happening. Suddenly, I become the News Information Center of my friends. 

A lot of times I dream of not watching news. Or even read the papers. Sometimes, ignorance is a bliss. But in this work, I cannot afford to be News Ignorant. On other things, I can. But not on the news.

My life. Good night everyone.

occihc08

We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's yo birthday

But there is no party.

Actually, I greeted him first thing this morning. If ever you are reading my blog, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ULIT. Wish you all the best in life. Kepp on making your dreams come true. See you around.

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Last Saturday was a blast! We went to Malate! I met a guy through a common friend and I can say that I am quite interested with him.

And last night, I was, again, wallowing. I miss being with someone.

And I think, he is perfect for me. But I don't think he is interested.

Keep your fingers crossed. It is about time that another someone comes.

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THOUGHTS ON LOVE:

 I always thought that love is a very ironic thing. 

         It is easy to fall, but hard to fall out of love. 

         It gives you so much joy, but i return, also gives you so much
                  pain.

         It is easy to feel, yet so hard to explain.

         It is so easy to say but so hard to define.

         It is easy to remember yet so hard to forget.

 Love...Everybody claims that it is very painful, yet everybody risks. I guess the Joy Felt is more important that the Pain Felt. For lovers, there can never be enough. One cannot give enough sacrfice, and for the other, sacrifices made can never be enough.

In love, sacrifices are useless unless the person appreciates your sacrifices. Some people realize the importance of thhose sacrifices once it is gone.

Love, when can I feel it again?

occihc08

Sometimes, It's never quite enough...
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love..

A day after my previous post, I found out that he does not like me. I learned about it through our common friend, the one who introduced us to each other (Thanks Czar!).

So as always and as expected, on the very same night, I wallowed on my life. When will I be good enough for someone? Is there a problem with me?

Every little thing (and even big things) I do isn't enough to make someone happy. Maybe next time they will love me just the way I am, if I am perfect.

And as for now, I am back to what I was doing before: taking things as they are, one day at a time.

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To my friends, acquiantances and all of the people who frequent my blog, hello to all!

To Pex: I hope you get through everything you are going through right now. If ever you need some hugs, I am more than willing to give you one. *hugs*

To a certain FmV: I do not know you personally. My knowledgeabout you ends in MIRC. But thanks for visiting my blog. However, I cannot do your request for me to write about make-up. hehehe.

To all of you: MWAH! I LOVE YOU ALL.

occihc08

I know that we are still going to have a party on Saturday but I want to save this space to my friend, Blayke aka James (I prefer to call him the former). He is leaving the country for Saudi Arabia. Apparently, he applied somwhere there and got accepted and the company gave him two fucking weeks to say goodbye to his friends. He will stay there for two years.

Blayke has been my friend since I joined BNT channel. And the moment I met him was interesting. Well, he introduced himself to me during our night life at Puerto Galera. Before he say his name, pinaso niya muna ako ng yosi niya sa kamay ko.

Sober as we were, we just laughed at it that night. The next day, I saw him again and I asked him, "Ikaw ba yun nakapaso sa akin kagabi?" He said, "Yeah, I did. Tinapakan mo kasi ako." We laughed.

I felt close to Blayke when we were at Vigan, along the seashores of Pagudpud. He was telling me about his guy. Again, we were drunk, so our emotional antennas were up. This was the moment where I get to know him better.

I admire his self confidence and how he stood for himself. Though to some, it may appear as purely yabang, but to me, I love him for that. Because I was given the chance to see the other side of him. I saw him cry, he also saw me crying. But he never judged. He gave good advices. EG, Ang mga magaganda hindi na-iinsecure, huwag ng pairalin ang katangahan (this one works for me! thanks friend!)

He will be working there for two years. Now, I know a friend of ours says that two years would be nothing. But two years? Two fucking years would mean 104 fucking weeks. We have our night out every week. So that means 104 gimiks without Blayke.

I know we just met barely a year ago. But Blayke is no ordinary friend. Along with my friends, he was there when I was down. He was with us in every single gimiks we had. And we are definitely going to miss him. We shared a lot of things, and just recently, he renewed the yosi paso he did to me at Galera. Napaso niya ako accidentally sa Malate two weeks ago.

So this Saturday, we decided to give a party he will never forget.

Will keep you posted.

occihc08

Yesterday, Richard and I went to Robinson's Apartel to reserve a room for Saturday and surprise, fully booked sila!

Plan B: we are finding some place where in we could rent a place to hold the party for Blayke. Otherwise, Malate na toh!

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Last Monday, I decided to give myself a break from work and go to Robinson's Galleria. From work, I have to ride the MRT, from GMA Station to Ortigas Station.

Sometimes, I cannot help but be paranoid. I keep on thinking: "paano kung may bomba sa MRT?" I was on the edge of my senses during my ride.

Suffice to say, I survived the ride.

From Ortigas Station, I have to walk for two blocks to get to Robinson's Galleria. Along the sidewalk, there were a lot of people waiting for bus. It was slightly raining so, as expected in the country, a lot of people were stranded due to floods and traffics. That said, a lot of people went to the "no loading, unloading portion" to wait for busses. A thing which results the traffic enforcers to shoo away the bus and lead them to the proper bus stop. While walking, I cannot help but think, "paano kaya kung maholdap ako?", "paano kaya kung biglang may uhmatak sa baril ng mga traffic enforcers (ngayon ko lang naisip, may baril ba sila?) at pagbabarilin ang mga tao?", "paano kung may isang bus na dumulas at mabangga ang mga taong naghihintay?", "paano kung may sira-ulo dito at bigla na lang akong saksakin ng icepick?" at isa pang naisip ko: "paano kung mangyari dun yun nangyari sa Makati nuon Valentine's day kung saan biglang sumabog ang isang bus?" PAANO?

This, readers, is what I get from working in the newsroom: PARANOIA. I don't think I could consider our country a safe place. On the other hand, no place is really safe in the country, even in the whole world.

Sometimes, I would love to stop watching news to rid myself of paranoia. Sometimes, ignorance is a bliss. I want to go out and have fun without thinking of bombs, holduppers, explosions and other criminal stuffs.  

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REALITY SHOWS.

It seems like the TV programming in this country is infested with reality shows. But can we consider all of these as real, true and unscripted?

For example, last night I was watching the newly launched PBB of the other network. There is this guy, Rico, who read the love letter of his ex-gf, given to him when they were so much in love.

From the previous episode, viewers will know how Rico cannot ove on with his life because of their break-up. Everynight, he cries, looks at the piture of his ex-gf, and hugs the stuff toy given to him on their month-sary.

Last night was worse, in one scene, he was "caught" by the camera in their bedroom reading the love letter ALOUD. Now, I have nothing against reading love letters in public or in front of a camera, but not ALOUD. He was aware that a lapel was attched in his shirt and he was aware that there were cameras all over the room. One word: PAPANSIN.

Now, here is the case, can't ABS-CBN (oops, I dropped the name of the station...) see that this is all Rico's planned drama? can't they see that this is Rico's script?

As much as ABS-CBN wants ratings, they search for Rico's ex-gf and asked her for her message for Rico. They showed it to Rico last night. Unsurprisingly, Rico cried. And hindi daw siya makatulog, so he volunteered to watch over the bonfire that they have to keep aflame for a week. Guess what he brought along with him? After reading the love letter ALOUD, he brought along with him the FRAMED PICTURE of his ex-gf.

IMO, Rico brought pictures of her ex-gf, stuff toy that was given to him, and love letters (who knows what else he brought along with him?) to stage his drama. Gusto niya talagang magartista.

One more thing, in the video message, the face of the girl was blurred, whereas whenever they show the picture of his ex-gf, it is clear. WTF? I blame this to the post production people.

I don't know how long PBB can keep the excitement going on. And up until now, I am still trying to understand if their tagline (Ang Teleserye ng Totoong Buhay) really applies. After a week, I can only see two to three real people in the show, the others are all superficial.

If they want a real teleserye feel, they should have a homosexual pair in the show, a gay and a lesbian.

Now, don't you think that would be more exciting?

occihc08

hagisan ng papel. walkout. pukpukan. away. rally dito. rally duon. batuhan. dugo. nangurakot si ano. nandaya si ano.

hanuba!

babuyan. pare-pareho lang kayo.