fighter's journal

occihc08

after watching tonight's episode of Maala-ala Mo Kaya.

It was about a couple (played by Lotlot de Leon and Wowie de Guzman) who is star-crossed. A martyr and a soldier. Nice combination.

The martyrdom of the wife continues. Grabeng kamartyran, as in the guy had another girl tapos tatlo silang nasa kama. di ba martyr? ito pa, the wife was pregant that time. di ba? define martyr?

Tapos, ayun nga they had a child. Tapos as time goes by, binugbog na rin ng lalaki ang anak nila. Napuno ang babae, pinatay ang lalaki. Nakulong ang babae. after few years nakalaya siya. last scene nila is sa graduation ng anak nila. inalay ng anak ang honor medal niya sa kanyang nanay.

Isang dialogue na tumatak sa isip ko is yun kinakausap ng anak ang nanay. Medyo galit ang anak. Ito ang pag-uusap:

A: Nay, lahat ng klasmate ko may nanay, ako lang wala.
N: eh di sabihin mo, nasa abroad ako or nasa ibang bansa..
A: May mga kalsmate ako na nasa ibang bansa ang nanay. may bago silang sapatos, damit..
N:di Sabihin mo nasa Mindanao ako, basta malayong lugar...
A: Ang mga nasa malayong lugar, umuuwi pa rin
*medyo galit na si nanay
N: eh di sabihin mo na lang patay na ako para wala ka ng problema. anak, ginawa ko ito dahil ayokong magaya ka sa akin.
A: ayokong sabihin na patay ka na kasi ayokong mangyari yun. sa totoo, nay, namimiss na kita. sobrang miss na kita.

Nakakaiyak lang. napakasimple ng dialogue pero ang galing ng pagkakadeliver.

And in fairness, magaling ang mga gumanap. Si Lotlot de Leon at si (makakagulat man) Wowie de Guzman. Okay rin an acting ng anak nila.

Ayan, sober na naman ako at sad dahil sa drama na ito!

Haayy...walang magawa sa opis! yes, would you believe it? I am still in the office watching Dong Puno Live.

Now don't get me started on this jueteng issue and this Archbishop who seems like he has nothing to do but to dwell on this jueteng issue. It's like duh! Archbishop, there are other things, involving the Church, more worthy of your attention.

Andito na sundo ko...more this weekend...mukahng senseless na ako.

BUT I AM NOT DONE WITH THIS JUETENG ISSUE.

occihc08

I am SO  hating this day.

occihc08

I have no idea what to label this post, so I settled for "so-so monday."

Yesterday was Father's Day. I was able to catch the Father's day Special Episode of Y Speak where they argued whether the absence of a father affects a person. The "NO" side said that they can live a normal life even without a father. The "YES" side said that a person will never be complete without the presence of a father.

I don't know if my family can be considered as broken, but I think we are halfway there. Hindi na nga sila nag-uusap, complete pa ba yun? Physically complete na lang siguro kami.

Going back to the argument of the two sides, I have to agree that you can be normal without a father but you can never be complete. Being normal varies on how a person sees it. I can claim that I am normal if I feel comfortable doing abnormal things. But to other person, it may be abnormal. I can say that I am use to doing abnormal things that's why I feel like it is normal already.

For example, if my work shift is from 9 PM - 6 AM, in due time, it would be normal for me to be awake when almost everyone is sleeping and sleep when everybody's awake. Another instance, I feel normal when my mom and my dad are not talking to each other. for others, it's not normal. (I just asked my friend) It's because I am used in our situation. I know you get my point.

So on father's day, I was forced to greet two daddies, I did not even greet my dad. How can I? He was not home. But I am not that affected. 

See, I am normal, but definitely not complete.

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I will just try to post some pictures on my blog.

These are my friends from college (to all my HS friends, sorry, butI dont have any OL picture of all of us! I love you all though! mwah)

We fondly call ourselves the Yagetz. Clockwise: Jonathan, Beth, Venice, Yhna, me(nice cap, Chicco!) and Odette. this picture was taken during our retreat. Beth visited us and brought some coffee from Starbucks. Not in the picture: Mato, JP V. Niño, and RJ

The next picture is my bestfriend from college (to my bestfriend in Elementary, Abbie, sorry I also don't have our picture online. )

That's my bestfriend Krestel. She is now seven months pregnant with her first baby. This was taken during one of our bonding mall trips. I was talking to a friend when we took the picture. We took this in the Sun Shop at Robinson's Place Ermita.

And the last picture would show my officemates in GMA.

Clockwise: Allaine, Jenny, Lorie, Karla, Valerie and me. They make work easier for me. One word: Pasaway!

Nakakatuwa naman. more pictures to come!

occihc08

When I was on my way to work today, I rode a jeepney full of students, who are tired of the hundred things that filled their day.

I watched them closely.

They were about on their second year of college. They have small mailman bags and they were carrying a huge book entitled Anatomy of Human.

I thought of myself when I was in their stage. Second year college at Letran College three years ago. I smiled.

And I realized that there are a lot of things I miss about school.

When I was in kindergarten, I was carefree yet hard working. I remember crying when I could not perfect the curve of an S. I was disappointed everytime my teacher writes 'do better next time on my paper.' I would beam everytime my artwork came on the top of others. And I would never settle for a grade lower than 90. I remember befriendding every student in the school. It was a small school so it was not that hard for me to know every student by name. I was quite popular back then.

After a hard day, I cannot wait to go home and catch my favorite cartoons on television. The days turn into years, I graduated as the Class Valedictorian (The graduating class was consisted of 16 students. Go figure why I managed to be at the top.)

High School was quite a different experience. My grades were not that good. I was in the stage of adjustment, adjusting from a population of 16 students per class to 50 student per class. though my grades suffered, I managed to stay at the top ten students in my class.

I was still the carefree yet hardworking guy when I was in High School. But there are subjects that I hate. I remember sneaking out every PE classes. Making excuses for me to go to the clinic, finding every way to delay my trip from the classroom to the gym. When I was in my senior year, I hate drafting and CAT. When I was taking up the former, I remember asking a friend of mine who can draw to do my template. On CAT, I remember befriending every officers.

Befriending. I would like to think that it was easy for me to befriend everybody in High School. I am friendly but I cannot say that I was not involved in any fight.

Back in second year high school, there's this guy, his surname is Delfin, who everybody hated. He is boastful, liar and a dumbass! My seatmate and I had this theory that he always wear the same uniform everyday. To prove this, my seatmate cut the back of his (Delfin's) uniform creating a slit. He was seated in front of us. The next day, he was wearing the same uniform. Only the slit was sewn together.

This proves that I am friendly but I can be bad. Very bad.

Once, I hated this guy for so long because he always does something against me and my friends. I bad-mouthed him to all of our classmates. What happened after? Come Christmas party, he spent it in the classroom beside us.

But what I miss in high school? I miss every time the bell would ring, telling us it's time to go home. Eight hours inside the same room, with the same people can make me crazy. The bell would mean that we could go out of the room, meet with our friends, talk about the looong day, and just hang out in the lobby. I miss that lobby. I miss eating spaghetti na may sabaw in our canteen. I miss complaining how bad the food is at the canteen.

I miss my teachers who taught me a lot of things. I miss my friends. I miss the times when we would practice a performance for a program. I miss going to one of my friend's place after classes to hang out.

I miss High School. I think it was the best part of school life for me. So, it was hard for me to part with my friends when we all went to college, but we had this pact to stay in touch with each other, a common thing you do every graduation. Surprisingly, I didn't cry in our graduation. I think it's because I know that my friends and I will surely stay in touch.

After graduation, me and my friends met almost every week before college started.

College was a new experience for everyone of us. But college taught me more than I have expected. College taught me about life and how to deal with it.

At first, I was hesitant to be close to my college friends. Why? Because I thought having a new set of friends will make me forget about my HS friends. It turned out, I was wrong. I remember staying until around 11 PM at McDonald's Letran with my friends just talking about what transpired in our day. We talked about many things.

It was also in college when I learned that friends do not have to see each other often to remain close. Until now, my high school friends and I are still in touch with each other. Aside from that, in college, I gained a whole new set of friends whom I can rely on anytime.

Both set of my friends (HS and College) are great. Even some of my Elementary friends are still with me until now. And all of them knew of each other in some ways. My E friends are friends with my HS friends. While some of my HS friends knew my C friends.

Back in my jeepney ride, I again glanced at the students. They were talking about their science assignment. It was 5 PM, and they were on their way home. I was on my way to work.

As the jeepney approached the building where I am working right now, I realiazed that there are a lot of things I miss about school and about being a student. But I think what I am greatly missing are my friends from the three phase of my school years.

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Aside from school, being a student, and my friends, there are a lot of things I am quite missing right now.

I miss having a complete family. I miss our breakfasts at Luk Yuen Greenhills. I miss the times we would all go to church and hear mass every Sunday.

I miss not feeling stressed.

I miss having a regular shift at work.

I miss doing events. I miss SAGA.

I miss my little prince. I am eating chicharon while writing this post.

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It has been a long time since the last time I have written a poem. Well, after a long time, here's an attempt:


I wish I could be your greatest dream in the night
So that when you wake up, you would want me back

I wish I could be the the bed that you sleep in
So everytime you wanted comfort, you would seek me

I wish I could be a guitar you play when you're down
So when you are depressed, you would pick me up to sing your songs

But I know
I cannot be a dream
I cannot be a bed
I cannot be a guitar

I can never be anything I want to be but myself.
and I am unwanted to you, as I am to me.

Just don't ask who the poem is intended for.

occihc08

This afternoon, after taking a bath before going to work, I was so depressed to find my teddy bears on the floor, completely destroyed, all of their eyes are not in their place. The culprit? Our 7th month old Daschund, Bridgette.

Partly, it was my fault but Bridgette is not allowed to enter the room.

Here's what happened: I slept for about an hour this afternoon and I wasn't able to return my pillows and those two teddy bears with no names to where they are supposed to be. And while taking my bath, that stupid dog found her way to the room and destroyed my babies!

Why am I depressed? Those teddy bears were with me ever since I was in diapers. I remember crying myself to sleep with them in my hands. They can hear every prayers I make and they can keep my secrets for they cannot talk. And for the past nineteen years, they put me off to sleep. They are my closest friends.

So why am I talking as if they are gone? Their eyes are gone and I believe that their eyes are their essence. I love to touch those smooth eyes before I fall to sleep. I believe that their eyes put me off to sleep.

And my mom said there is nothing we could do about it. I kept their bodies though. Their bodies without eyes. Creepy, but I love those two.
I think I'll just buy my new teddies soon, prolly Care Bears. But it would never be the same. The eyes of my soon-to-be teddies would be nothing compare to the eyes of my 19 year old teddies.

This will be my first night to sleep without their eyes, but their bodies beside me. I don't know if I can sleep soundly.